They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
