oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
babies were throwing up all over the place
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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