nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
