I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I love having hate sex.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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