If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
