i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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