Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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