...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
