I'm jealous of your bromance
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize