He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
