I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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