You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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