omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
