"it" just moved
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
it was like eating out sand paper
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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