Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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