I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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