apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
