I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize