i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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