Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
pop tarts are not kleenex
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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