With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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