ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
