He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
