I didn't shave. On purpose
Swine flu. Run for my life!
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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