Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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