i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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