yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize