FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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