His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
