I think I am morally bankrupt
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
