Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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