okay pat passed out under dana's car
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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