Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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