My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
We're not piercing ourselves today.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
