So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
