I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
porn star boner night. come get it.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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