can we get nightvision for the apartment?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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