so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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