if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize