Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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