last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Randomize