i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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