i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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