not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
