Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
love makes seman taste better
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
