She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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