you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
