I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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