let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
