If i come over, it means nothing
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
