i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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