Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Randomize
