Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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