This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize