how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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