Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He better not be in your backpack
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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