We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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