I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
