She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
