Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
