last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
