you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize