remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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